The Lost Cases of Boxmore/Transcript

¿Qué? The subject of this article has not been officially released in English as of yet. As such, all information in this article is based on fan-contributed translations.

This is a transcribed copy for the episode "The Lost Cases of Boxmore". Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "The Lost Cases of Rhyboflavin"

Next: "The Lost Cases of Townsville"

Translated by Nightfurmoon

Narrator	Congratulations! If you're watching this it's because you want to go from being a mediocre villain to being a mediocre villain with an evil corporation! Get ready to see what you mustn't do with…
Narrator	*deep breath* The orientation video for possible future subsidiaries (and probably rejected and annihilated), seeking to turn their small evil into a diabolic— Sorry, diabolical corporation and subsidiary of Black Hat Organization. For those who are unaware of the term subsidiary, it means that their souls and existences will be owned by Black Hat Organization. but this time you've donated them voluntarily. With unlimited resources, your diabolical purposes and disturbing ideas will be mass produced.
Narrator	Horrifying corporations of the existence, which are also owned by the company behind these videos and your future lord Black Hat Organization.
Narrator	Long story short, *blah blah blah*
Black Hat	Welcome, future slaves…
Black Hat	Welcome, insolent leeches—
Dr. Flug	Err, sir?
Black Hat	What?!
Black Hat	Welcome, future subsidiaries—
Dr. Flug	(Dr. Flug sneezes.) SORRY DON'T HIT ME DON'T HIT ME—
Black Hat	I HAD ALREADY GOTTEN IT YOU HUGE—
Black Hat	Welcome to the orientation video for companies aspiring to become subsidiaries of Black Hat Organization. Throughout the years I have absorbed millions of evil companies that thanks to me are now leaders in the diabolical industry.
Narrator	If you want to be part of the most powerful corporate villainy network that ever existed, then take note because we will tell you the requirements that you and your company have to meet through analyzing one of the already subsidiary companies of Black Hat Organization, chosen carefully by our leader Lord Black Hat.
Black Hat	Actually I'll chose one randomly like I always do. (Black Hat pushes the button.) Muahaha! Wrong button…
Narrator	And the chosen company to be cruelly destroyed is… Boxmore!
Black Hat	I don't remember that garbage dump being my subsidiary…
Dr. Flug	It's one of the most recent ones, sir. It was acquired through Cosma.
Black Hat	And what are they supposed to create, boxes?!
Dr. Flug	Ahm… Nowadays it's the main mechanical AI producer.
Black Hat	Ah, machiavellian machines! You should've told me earlier, it must be a profitable subsidiary. Who's in charge of this evil company?
Black Hat	I see… Lord Dumbman. This thing chose such a stupid name! Here it says that he's tried to destroy ‘Lakewood Plaza Turbo’, which is ruled by Mr— (Black Hat makes horrific noises and coughs.) This cough… Ahem, Mr. Gar. What kind of name is that?! And his assistants. They're completely irrelevant.
Dr. Flug	Ahmm their names are Enid, Radicles and I think the kid is K.O.—
Black Hat	SHUT UP! I said they're irrelevant.
Black Hat	That guy's voice is annoyingly familiar…
Dr. Flug	That's weird sir—
Black Hat	SHUT UP your voice irritates me!
Narrator	What makes Boxmore a decent subsidiary? Could it be their evil installations? With malefic gadgets to create and destroy subordinates!
Black Hat	BAH! If he was really suffering it would sound like this. *agonizing screams* Aahh… Such a pleasant melody.
Black Hat	Let's have fun watching how this poor excuse of a hero succumbs to Dumbman's evil installations!
Black Hat	Why does NOBODY understand the importance of security?! Laser beams over here, mechanical saws there, hydraulic press right here, fire trap, poison darts, bottomless pit and a giant boulder as a final touch… How do they let him happily pass!? Clearly their installations are trash!
Narrator	Could it be… their evil subordinates?
Jethro	I am… Jethro!
Black Hat	Those mechanical minions are useless! My robotic infiltrates are much more ruthless…
All the infiltrated robots	Hail Black Hat…
Black Hat	Now let's go back— Where's the red robot?
Black Hat	How disappointing… Where's the mechanical orange?!
Black Hat	Rule 302: Manipulate the hero into doing whatever you want.
Black Hat	How did you expect them not to recognize you with such a mediocre outfit?! Such a horrible skinwalker…
Black Hat	Clearly those henchmen don't make the company worth it! Their leader better not be an embarrassment!
Narrator	Could it be… their evil boss?
Black Hat	Let's see what his enemies have to say about him. Your rival's opinion must show how scared they are of you…
Black Hat	It's true, he has always been a nerd! Even in high school!
Black Hat	How is a hero going to fear that greaseball! At least his robotic henchmen should treat him with respect and supremacy!
	Lord Boxman's henchmen all call him dad.
Black Hat	How does he allow his servants to call him like that?! The FIRST and LAST word that came of out 5.0.5.'s mouth was ‘papa’, and since then he hasn't used any more words…
Black Hat	A tantrum?! What a disappointment… His fury is just like a child's! I still remember my most recent wrath…
Narrator	Could it be… their evil plans?
Black Hat	What?! This incompetent donkey lets his minions come up with plans for him?! USELESS! If he can't make his own evil plans, then how is he going to lead an evil company? Let's see how his dirty plan goes…
Black Hat	Now that you have the hero in your cla… Chicken claws, show me how you're going to use him for your fatal plans!
Black Hat	So this pig wants to destroy their friendship. And let me guess… He wants these three inept heroes fight against each other. That's why a subordinate doesn't come up with an evil plan, they don't know anything! To destroy their friendship, you must eliminate at least ONE of them, that way you'll destroy their affection chain. Otherwise you'll just strengthen their bond. It's OBVIOUS.
Black Hat	I told you, fat pig.
Black Hat	Eugh! What’s happening to you, bloody idiot?! Are they hitting you with friendship? That's intangible! Like a demon.
Lord Boxman	That only strengthened their bond!
Black Hat	But of course, you huge imbecile! At least tell me now that you have them in your lair, you'll eradicate them personally—
Black Hat	YOU HELPED THEM TO ESCAPE?!?!?! ENOUGH, I DON'T WANT TO KEEP ANALYZING THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A VILLAIN AND SUBSIDIARY!
Dr. Flug	Don't get mad sir, we didn't reach 10 minutes yet—
Black Hat	PUT WHATEVER, I DON'T CARE I DONT CARE!
Narrator	This is a commercial sponsored by Black Hat Organization: ‘Evilness at your door!’ If you're as naïve as Boxman and you can't come up with your own evil plans or you leave your plans in hands of your subordinates like these, suffer no longer! Black Hat organization has the solution. We present you Black Hat's evil plans service, where we turn your most mediocre ideas into diabolical wonders! Millions and millions of villains all around the world have discovered the benefits of a perfect plan thanks to Black Hat's evil plans service. More and more plans by miscreants are solved thanks to his perverse service.
Metauro	My name is Metauro and thanks to Black Hat's evil plans service, my horrible goals have been fulfilled. Can I see my family now?
Narrator	With Black Hat's evil plans service, you could go play bingo, go fishing, or spend time with your grandmother while Black Hat Organization designs your plan. Call now and acquire Black Hat's evil plans service, only for the price of your poor, pathetic and deplorable existence! If this doesn't convince you, listen to the words of our evil founder Lord Black Hat.
Narrator	Our operators are waiting for you! So grab that damned telephone and order not one, TWO— Wait, THREE of Black Hat's evil plans services! Call now!
Dr. Flug	But good sir, what are we going to do with Boxman?
	A Hatbot-Sentinel chases after Lord Boxman.